God Speaks, Pt. 1

God is good all the time. All the time, God is good.

Amen? Amen.

The best thing I did for myself this weekend was not sit in the house. I know that consuming exorbitant amounts of alcohol might be considered contradictory in terms of "signs from God"... because, well... since when does God condone drunkenness? But let me tell you something: I have grown more in my relationship with God this past week, than in all prior 24 years combined. And there was plenty of alcohol involved. God was speaking to me in my language... through friends, situations, concerts, contact highs and yes, spirits. How ironic... "Speaking to me through spirits".... He is after all, the One who turned water into wine. I'm just saying.

Friday, at around 2:45 pm, my boss sent an e-mail to our whole team telling us to pack up for the day. We were headed to The Loop for drinks and appetizers. It had been a long week. God bless that Jewish man, because he read my mind. Drinks on the boss? Count me in.

Afterwards, I met up with Melanie to finish watching the playoff games of the evening and reconcile some of the differences in our relationship (as well as vent about the boy). It was a truly meaningful conversation, and I felt so much better afterwards. In a gchat conversation the day before, I told her how much I was hurting, and that I was reluctant to talk to her about it because she was always consumed with how much she hated her job. She admitted she felt like she was slipping into a depression, and apologized for any inconvenience it may have placed on our friendship. Well, depression is no laughing matter, so we discussed her issues, and then we discussed mine. Friday night we followed up over margaritas and I had an opportunity to really pour my heart out. She was so supportive. Willing to help me in any emotional way I needed. To have non-judgemental people in your life who love you unconditionally are the only friends worth having. That's exactly the kind of friend she is.

I headed home, drunk and a little delirious after all the emotional talk, and passed out immediately. Saturday morning I woke up a tad hungover and a lot depressed. Anisa sent text messages every few hours to check on me, which I truly appreciated. I headed to the gym to run off some of my anxiety... but to no avail. I then headed to the grocery store to stock up for the next few weeks (I had been so broke, that groceries had been the last thing on my mind lately). I washed my hair, and then created a "feel better" playlist on my iPod for the blowout/flat iron routine. It helped. So did the two Miller Lights I downed in the process. I put on a fancy cocktail dress for a birthday dinner I had at 6, and started amping myself for the Bilal concert later that night. I was overdressed for the evening, but I looked damn good. I started strutting around my room, throwing my silky hair across my shoulders, and smiling at myself in the mirrors... This stupid-ass boy is an idiot. Who would ever want to give me up?? LOL.

Birthday dinner was SOOOO fun. Vodka Tonics were flowing and dinner at Papdeaux is ALWAYS amazing. Tasted even better once I figured out the birthday girl's mom was treating the entire dinner party. Yum! My spec from my sorority was at the dinner too (she happened to be the bday girl's biological older sister). I admire her so much. She's a Harvard Law grad, so I immediately brought up Yale SOM and we began talking strategy. We of course wandered into the topics of relationships (she's newly married) and had a very candid conversation about my current lovelife (or lack thereof). Of all of the advice she offered, the biggest points that stuck with me were these: I'm not the only one who deals with confused, trifling, misguided young men; There has to be a point when I assess whether or not someone DESERVES my friendship - which has nothing to do with self-esteem, or feeling haughty - and act accordingly; I cannot give someone 100% of myself if they're not willing to do the same for me. Amen. She told me that she given six years of her life to a young man who turned out to be absolutely no good for her - to the point that he's no longer allowed to even call her. She assured me that the boy will reach out to me again when his new relationship inevitably fails, and I will need to make an earnest assessment of what value he adds to my life. Yes, I know what I contribute to his... but what does he contribute to mine? If the list is short, is he worth keeping around? Honestly. Finally, she told me that, once she was able to make a clean break from six-year dude, God put her future husband in her life. They dated for six months, got engaged, and were married this past February. "When you least expect it... that's when it comes." Church!

Go Fish

The final weekend of March was a doozy. Melanie turned 25 on Friday, March 27th. The boy turned 25 of March 28th. Divvying up my time wouldn’t be too difficult…right? I spent Thursday night with Melanie, her family and close friends over dinner at South City Kitchen. I was supposed to meet up with her on Friday night as well, but the boy had just gotten here, and I was supposed to meet him at the Wale concert in midtown. There are never enough hours in the day. Suffice it to say; once I saw the boy in the sweaty, hole-in-the-wall venue, he never left my sight. Wale’s lyrics over hypnotic go-go beats reminded us both of DC and college. It was nostalgia at it’s finest. Guess I wasn’t going to make it to Aja for Melanie’s bday drinks. I could only hope that she would understand!!

Saturday morning I woke up and made him breakfast. His phone buzzed throughout the afternoon from with “Happy Birthday” texts and calls. On occasion he would answer and have a quick chat with the well-wisher, but he was mostly distracted with food, mimosas, mid-day naps and lounging around the apartment. It felt so natural to have him around. We did end up getting into a minor tiff in the late afternoon. But it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be resolved with a kiss. As he showered, I gave myself a pep talk – making myself snap out of the somber mood our conversation had just put me in. As he exited the bathroom, I moved right past him to wash away my annoyance at our conversation. I appreciated that he wanted to be fully honest with me about his previous relationships (explaining away the David Yurman comment from December, and elaborating more than I cared for him to). But there are some things a girl just doesn’t need to hear. As I bathed, he peeked around the shower curtain with puppy dog eyes. Apology accepted.

We got dressed, and headed to the Downtown Hilton to meet with some of his friends who were around for a fraternity regional conference. The initial pleasantries were nice enough. All but one of us had gone to college together, so clearly none of us were strangers. After small talk and banter about the Elite Eight and the status of our respective NCAA brackets, I guess the guys decided lightheartedly aggravate me. I was the only girl around, so naturally I was an easy target. “Damn, we live in the same city and I haven’t seen you in ages… I guess you don’t fool with me, huh?” said one of the guys. A playful comment, of course… but not one I was willing to entertain that evening. Granted, he and I did live in the same city, and we were cool, but he was right. I hadn’t seen him in ages. To me though, it wasn’t a big deal. We lived in a big city and the phone worked both ways.

“What do you mean?!” I jokingly replied back, hoping it would end there. Nope. He decided to run down dates of the last times we had seen each other, and then drew the striking conclusion that I “didn’t care about him…” or something. Well, honey, I hate to break your heart, but what the hell are you even talking about? What do I need to say so that we can end this conversation as quickly as possible? “You’re right! I’m a complete bitch. Come sit in my lap and let mama make it better.” No? “My goodness! Where has my mind been? I forgot you were the ruler of the universe and that I needed you in my life!!! Silly me.” Or… “Forget that my boo is over here – you know, your friend that’s sitting right across from us – give me your number again and we can chat this over when he falls asleep tonight.”

Give me a break. The victim role just does not sit well with me. “You haven’t called,” “I haven’t seen you,” and “you don’t fool with me,” are phrases that, I’ll admit, do have their place in life… just not amongst mutual friends to whom you barely spoke in college and with whom you have very little in common. Fishing for minor compliments so that your frail ego can boost itself up is transparent and pathetic. Come on. The thing is, the exact same scenario played out in Miami a few weeks ago. Another guy friend from college was attempting to give me a major guilt trip for not calling enough and not making enough of an effort to see him while I was in town. Who do I look like? I am not pressed about you fools. Grow up.

I know this is just a cute little game guys play to essentially say “we should hang out,” or “it’s good to see you again.” But why not use your grown up words and say just that: we should hang out! It’s good to see you again! I’d be a lot nicer in my responses if that were the case. Instead, I have to play along until I’m unnerved enough to finally roll my eyes and tell these minions to move the conversation along.

What if I just said “you’re right, I don’t care about you… now let’s have a nice little evening and not speak again until the next time I see you, okay?” Pah! I wonder how they would feel then. Who knows. For now, I’ll just resort to this statement: Sweetheart, I’m not sure what you’re looking for by making those comments… but I’m pretty sure I don’t have the answers you’re looking for. Go Fish.

Beginning to Win

I’m quitting this diet one day early. I’ve already reached my target weight, my skin is clearer, and I’m cranky this morning – so there you go.

I cheated twice in Phase #2 and I have two pimples to show for it. Nice. The first cheat was with Ruby. I had taken her to an NBA game, and dinner afterwards. She ordered this Burbon Shrimp appetizer that was drenched in cream sauce, and served with warm, lightly buttered bread. It was torture. I simply tasted three of those little shrimp and went on to order the veggie platter for my entrée: sautéed spinach, broiled button mushrooms and steamed broccoli. Sounds appetizing, right? I didn’t try any of the light, warm, fluffy bread, nor did I indulge in the “delicious” (as Ruby described it) sauce. I just tasted the shrimp. Well, the next morning I woke up with two bright red dots on my face – one for each cheek. Because of the CREAM SAUCE. What had I been thinking? Clearly, I hadn’t… at all.

I cheated again last night for my little brother’s b-day. He was in town with his girlfriend (they made up!) for wine tasting, shopping, fine dining, and hookah. I met them after work at Ibiza, a little spot he and I had been to just last year for my own birthday festivities. I ordered the Vegetable Paella, skipped over all alcoholic beverages, and bypassed offerings of the unlimited tapas his friends had ordered. I was pretty strong, all things considered. But the Paella did have rice in it and, technically, rice is not a raw or steamed vegetable.

I don’t have any new pimples this morning, however, so I guess my body forgave me the rice ((and the hookah) Whoops!). And, my jeans are loving me for shedding a few pounds… you know they’re not supposed to crease right under your booty, right? And, when you take them off at night, your gut shouldn’t be embedded with the stitch work of those Citizens… I’m just saying.

I've heard "quitters never win, and winners never quit," but I think I'm winning on this one.

I started back at the gym Monday with a "5K Prep" mindframe: yoga class, extensive reps on the quad and calf machines, and an hour on the treadmill – jogging to the incredulous new episode of Gossip Girl. This show is like, one of the best things that ever happened to television. I didn’t think the writers had it in them to maintain such high-octane, complicated, interweaving storylines for an extensive period of time, but I was wrong. A family of best friends… and couples… inherits (and loses) a child/sibling in one episode… or do they?; A reckless billionaire boy inherits, and then loses, his father’s gargantuan company; Break-ups and make-ups get juicier as the season progresses… and the venomous mean girls relentlessly seek to torture any and everybody. It’s like chocolate; Devilishly delish!!

Next week will be the tough one. Though I will have integrated most of my regular eating habits back into my diet… I have to take into consideration that I’ll be in DC for the inauguration, and amongst college friends who are more amped than I’ve ever seen them. With that in mind, I researched the types of alcohol that I could consume that have the fewest calories. (I prefer not to think of myself as O.C.D., but as very thorough… and a little feisty). That said, I’ll be sipping White Zin and Skyy or Grey Goose Vodka Tonics with extra lemon. 80 and 60 calorie drinks respectively. Nice.

I will also have to integrate exercise into the weekend somehow. That will also be tough in the midst of all the Inaugural parties and socializing that must take place in such a condensed period of time. But man, I can’t WAIT to see my college buddies. It’s like a Homecoming Remix or something. We get to travel back to our alma mater, party all weekend, and celebrate the Inauguration of the first authentically "African-American" president?! How lucky are we. Yet another reason my University kicks ass. And regardless of my eating or drinking habits, the entire weekend is going to kick ass, and I'm fortunate to even be a part of it.

I'm winning here, too.

Speaking of kicking ass, I’ve been doing so at my job lately. Now that I’m finally catching up and creating a groove, I’m knocking projects down left and right… and at 10 am, no less. You could call me a Powerpuff Girl if you wanted to. Let’s go with “Buttercup”.

... it feels nice.

Detox Diaries #5 - #7

Well hello there.

Day #5 (Monday) - Got to work feeling proud; four days down and three more to go. After consulting with fasting/detox gurus in the office, however, I realized my little "plan" had some severe shortcomings. For starters, I should NOT have been adding milk or any dairy products to my fresh fruit smoothies. Whoops. Second, it would be okay to add light cardio or yoga to Phase #1, but after further deliberation Cece immediately vetoed that idea... being that I'm losing all this iron and all. Point taken. Finally, I probably should have been incorporating some sort of supplement into my diet as well. Well damn, I can't win for losing. All-in-all, though, Day #5 was good. I even discovered a cute little juice place called Arden's Garden (per a co-worker's recommendation). I plan to frequent this place even after the detox is over.

Day #6 (Tuesday) - This one was tricky. We had a new hire in my department, and as is customary with anything remotely exciting that happens in this department - we had to celebrate. So my boss was treating us all to lunch, which meant I had to find a place that served herbal tea and decent soup - and fast! We landed at a tasty restaurant called Noodle. While everyone around me was devouring stir fry, thai noodles with peanut sauce, gigantic salads and fresh spring roles, I was left with my peach ginger tea and miso soup. I wasn't complaining, though! I'd come this far... and I only had one more day to go.

Day #7 (Wednesday) - This was a hard one. I woke up dreadfully tired, partially because I'd been up late the night before. The New Year had inspired me to be more ambitious with Ruby, and I was in the midst of planning our year together. I had so many things I wanted to show her, teach her, expose her to... Guess I just got caught up in the euphoria of changing a person's life and subsequently lost track of the time. Ah well. I got to work and was slammed from 9am to 6pm. I left feeling just as tired as when I'd set foot on the campus. I've heard that detoxing can be draining, and I'm glad it didn't kick in for me until the last day.

Now I have graduated into Phase #2. This is the "Fruits and Veggies Only" phase. While I plan to still abstain from milk and diary products this week, I'm thinking I might want to incorporate more protein... Sooo I'm allowing beans into the diet (which is great because black beans are one of the best things that ever happened to the human race). This Sunday I'm taking Ruby to a pro basketball game and dinner at Vickery's (also an amazing restaurant). While I've looked at the menu, and determined there are things I'll be able to eat (salads, side veggie items, etc.), I'm not sure I'll be able to completely stick to the "raw or steamed" only portion of the guidelines. They have this sauteed spinach that looks incredible, so I might just have to cheat... just this one time. Don't hate me!

Finally, with next week comes an historic Inauguration... that I will be attending. Three days in DC, however, means three days of eating out. Granted, I'll be able to consume fish and will still be able to maintain a healthy diet, I'm beginning to think some serious changes will need to be made to Phase #3. So, instead of "Fruit, Veggies & Fish Only" I'm going to allow beans, eggs, whole wheat grains aaaaand I think that's it.

Pah! The beauty of creating your own diet!

In other news, my beer belly is 90% GONE. I'm so proud of myself. :-)

Review: Rosa Mexicano

It's restaurant week! Restaurants all over the city are vying for consumer dollars by offering their delectable cuisine for insanely low prices. Last Saturday a friend and I went to Rosa Mexicano (I'd been dying to go) for dinner. This participating restaurant afforded us the chance to sample three courses of their finest cuisine for 25 bucks. Nice.

While their modified "Restaurant Week" menu was limited, it wasn't difficult to discern that the food here was delicious. He started off with the Flautas de Pollo while I tried the Sopa de Tortilla, a soup composed of grilled chicken, avocado, tortilla strips, and a creamy sauce. Light but filling - it was a good starter. Next, I had the Salmon en Manchamanteles. Organic salmon served over black beans and corn, dressed with tropical fruit. Mouthwatering. Our waiter added rice with cilantro, which was a perfect compliment to the entree. The mango and pineapple flavors blended nicely with the medium-well seared salmon. Though the restaurant is Mexican by name, the cuisine extends far beyond the normal realm of burritos and enchiladas. Every dish, both his and mine, was exquisite in presentation, form and taste. Even the food itself had aesthetic quality.

The Flan de Coco for dessert was decadent. I mean, you have to travel abroad to find flan this good. He tried the "Pastel de Cueso" (cheesecake) which was equally remarkable. Light, creamy, and fresh... unlike the stuff you get at Cheesecake Factory (no disrespect - I like that place too). It was a perfect ending to a tasty, filling meal.

The service was great. Our waiter checked on us frequently enough, but not so much as to interrupt our conversation. Our water glasses were never empty, and his response to our needs was always timely.

The atmosphere was very inviting as well. It was definitely a family restaurant, though couples and large groups of friends could be spotted anywhere. The restaurant is best known for it's homemade guacamole (which, for some reason, we didn't try) and their authentic margaritas (which my friend tried, and enjoyed).

Overall, the place was a winner. It's a little pricey for an otherwise broke girl, thus "Restaurant Week" was the perfect opportunity to finally try their food. And, my pockets may hate me for it... but I will definitely be back.

http://www.rosamexicano.info/