Motivation

It doesn't take too much to get me going. Attending an Alumni Reception on Friday evening to meet my alma mater's new president was an enriching and motivating experience. I met with the Dean of my former school, shook a few hands, misbehaved with my prophytes and linesisters, caught up with former peer mentors, and partook of free food and spirits. It was a lovely way to kick off a Friday evening.

Perhaps the most poignant part of the evening , however, was when the 16th president of our university stood to address the crowd. He spoke briefly about the present atmosphere on campus, and swiftly moved into where the university was headed. He told us he needed our help. His vision for our school was about more than being a "top HBCU". We were on the road to becoming a "top school" period. Whereas in my mind, I've always found my school to be a "top school" I could see how the masses might need convincing. And, I was ready to help.

Come 2010 I'll be joining the local chapter of our alumni association, paying dues, and actively recruiting high school seniors to pursue a place that I affectionately call home. I'll be sending chunks of my paycheck to the School of Communications in efforts to assist with the new building. My small financial donation will be honored with my own personal chair in the new auditorium . That's right. When the new school is finally built, and the new auditorium finally opens, you'll find a cozy seat with my name engraved on the back of it. For a school that provided an academic scholarship, a loving support system, stimulating coursework and memories to last a lifetime - the least I can do is give something back.

I'm finding that when I'm helping others and making a difference, I'm at my best. I like that feeling. Even when spending time with Ruby, or volunteering at a local non-profit, something stirs within me and warms my heart. Spending time next year recruiting high school students, giving back and continuing to network with fellow alum will be nothing short of amazing. Plus, adding philanthropy to my life resume just sounds so "grown and sexy"...

Beyond the World of Coca-Cola

Two weekends ago I took Ruby to the World of Coca-Cola. She was in awe of the enormity of the building, the plethora of Coke products, the interactivity of various rooms/documentaries, and the notion that I’d buy her something at the gift shop. “You’re nice,” she commented. However, throughout our outing, I found myself continuing to correct her grammar, and offer etiquette advice wherever possible. “It’s ‘I went’ not ‘I had went,’” I’d chide. “Say ‘excuse me’ when you bump into someone,” I’d say. I felt like the girl’s mother. But, that’s what I’m here for. You know? This is what I signed up for.

To compel her to really work on correct grammar, I tried to make a game out of it. “If I say ‘I had went to the store when your mom called,’ what’s wrong with that sentence?” I asked. “You should say ‘I had gone,’” Ruby replied. “Good!” I’d exclaim. “You’re getting it!” But once we resumed our normal conversation she’d resort to her old, improper grammatical ways. How frustrating.

Anywho, I drove her home (after having reminded her mother I had plans at 7:00 pm) stopping at Checker’s on the way back. Can I tell you that Checker’s has not ONE mention of a vegetable of ANY KIND on their menu? None. “I want a chili dog and a soda,” she said. ::sighs:: “You know my rule,” I replied, “when you eat with me you have to get a vegetable.” So we drove across the street to Church’s to get her some coleslaw. Now, I know I can be a bit bossy. So I really made an effort to soften my tone as I explained my rationale to her. “Do you know why it’s important to eat healthy?” I asked. “Umm… so you have strong bones?” she replied, meekly. “Why else?” “Um. So you can be strong and live a long time…?” she squeaked.

“Does anyone in your family talk about high blood pressure?” She nodded. “Sugar? Does anybody talk about having ‘sugar’?” Nods again. “Those things are a result of not eating right. I talk to you about what you eat because I care about you. I want you to grow up and be strong and healthy. That’s also why I correct your grammar all the time. I want to you graduate from high school, go to a good college and be successful. But it’s important that you remember these things even when I’m not around, okay? When you’re by yourself, try to choose foods that are good for you. And try to remember what we talked about in terms of grammar. What did you have for breakfast today?”

“Nothing,” she said. Wait a minute. She had to have eaten SOMETHING. “You didn’t eat ANYTHING?” I prod. She shakes her head. Bless her heart. This ten year old girl gets one meal a day from a parent who clearly is not educating her on the importance of a balanced meal. It’s not her fault. She just wants a hot dog! Ten year olds like hot dogs. Maybe it’s a lack of money. Maybe it’s a lack of education. Likely, it’s both. All I can do is my part to help. I’m trying.

Beginning to Win

I’m quitting this diet one day early. I’ve already reached my target weight, my skin is clearer, and I’m cranky this morning – so there you go.

I cheated twice in Phase #2 and I have two pimples to show for it. Nice. The first cheat was with Ruby. I had taken her to an NBA game, and dinner afterwards. She ordered this Burbon Shrimp appetizer that was drenched in cream sauce, and served with warm, lightly buttered bread. It was torture. I simply tasted three of those little shrimp and went on to order the veggie platter for my entrée: sautéed spinach, broiled button mushrooms and steamed broccoli. Sounds appetizing, right? I didn’t try any of the light, warm, fluffy bread, nor did I indulge in the “delicious” (as Ruby described it) sauce. I just tasted the shrimp. Well, the next morning I woke up with two bright red dots on my face – one for each cheek. Because of the CREAM SAUCE. What had I been thinking? Clearly, I hadn’t… at all.

I cheated again last night for my little brother’s b-day. He was in town with his girlfriend (they made up!) for wine tasting, shopping, fine dining, and hookah. I met them after work at Ibiza, a little spot he and I had been to just last year for my own birthday festivities. I ordered the Vegetable Paella, skipped over all alcoholic beverages, and bypassed offerings of the unlimited tapas his friends had ordered. I was pretty strong, all things considered. But the Paella did have rice in it and, technically, rice is not a raw or steamed vegetable.

I don’t have any new pimples this morning, however, so I guess my body forgave me the rice ((and the hookah) Whoops!). And, my jeans are loving me for shedding a few pounds… you know they’re not supposed to crease right under your booty, right? And, when you take them off at night, your gut shouldn’t be embedded with the stitch work of those Citizens… I’m just saying.

I've heard "quitters never win, and winners never quit," but I think I'm winning on this one.

I started back at the gym Monday with a "5K Prep" mindframe: yoga class, extensive reps on the quad and calf machines, and an hour on the treadmill – jogging to the incredulous new episode of Gossip Girl. This show is like, one of the best things that ever happened to television. I didn’t think the writers had it in them to maintain such high-octane, complicated, interweaving storylines for an extensive period of time, but I was wrong. A family of best friends… and couples… inherits (and loses) a child/sibling in one episode… or do they?; A reckless billionaire boy inherits, and then loses, his father’s gargantuan company; Break-ups and make-ups get juicier as the season progresses… and the venomous mean girls relentlessly seek to torture any and everybody. It’s like chocolate; Devilishly delish!!

Next week will be the tough one. Though I will have integrated most of my regular eating habits back into my diet… I have to take into consideration that I’ll be in DC for the inauguration, and amongst college friends who are more amped than I’ve ever seen them. With that in mind, I researched the types of alcohol that I could consume that have the fewest calories. (I prefer not to think of myself as O.C.D., but as very thorough… and a little feisty). That said, I’ll be sipping White Zin and Skyy or Grey Goose Vodka Tonics with extra lemon. 80 and 60 calorie drinks respectively. Nice.

I will also have to integrate exercise into the weekend somehow. That will also be tough in the midst of all the Inaugural parties and socializing that must take place in such a condensed period of time. But man, I can’t WAIT to see my college buddies. It’s like a Homecoming Remix or something. We get to travel back to our alma mater, party all weekend, and celebrate the Inauguration of the first authentically "African-American" president?! How lucky are we. Yet another reason my University kicks ass. And regardless of my eating or drinking habits, the entire weekend is going to kick ass, and I'm fortunate to even be a part of it.

I'm winning here, too.

Speaking of kicking ass, I’ve been doing so at my job lately. Now that I’m finally catching up and creating a groove, I’m knocking projects down left and right… and at 10 am, no less. You could call me a Powerpuff Girl if you wanted to. Let’s go with “Buttercup”.

... it feels nice.

Detox Diaries #5 - #7

Well hello there.

Day #5 (Monday) - Got to work feeling proud; four days down and three more to go. After consulting with fasting/detox gurus in the office, however, I realized my little "plan" had some severe shortcomings. For starters, I should NOT have been adding milk or any dairy products to my fresh fruit smoothies. Whoops. Second, it would be okay to add light cardio or yoga to Phase #1, but after further deliberation Cece immediately vetoed that idea... being that I'm losing all this iron and all. Point taken. Finally, I probably should have been incorporating some sort of supplement into my diet as well. Well damn, I can't win for losing. All-in-all, though, Day #5 was good. I even discovered a cute little juice place called Arden's Garden (per a co-worker's recommendation). I plan to frequent this place even after the detox is over.

Day #6 (Tuesday) - This one was tricky. We had a new hire in my department, and as is customary with anything remotely exciting that happens in this department - we had to celebrate. So my boss was treating us all to lunch, which meant I had to find a place that served herbal tea and decent soup - and fast! We landed at a tasty restaurant called Noodle. While everyone around me was devouring stir fry, thai noodles with peanut sauce, gigantic salads and fresh spring roles, I was left with my peach ginger tea and miso soup. I wasn't complaining, though! I'd come this far... and I only had one more day to go.

Day #7 (Wednesday) - This was a hard one. I woke up dreadfully tired, partially because I'd been up late the night before. The New Year had inspired me to be more ambitious with Ruby, and I was in the midst of planning our year together. I had so many things I wanted to show her, teach her, expose her to... Guess I just got caught up in the euphoria of changing a person's life and subsequently lost track of the time. Ah well. I got to work and was slammed from 9am to 6pm. I left feeling just as tired as when I'd set foot on the campus. I've heard that detoxing can be draining, and I'm glad it didn't kick in for me until the last day.

Now I have graduated into Phase #2. This is the "Fruits and Veggies Only" phase. While I plan to still abstain from milk and diary products this week, I'm thinking I might want to incorporate more protein... Sooo I'm allowing beans into the diet (which is great because black beans are one of the best things that ever happened to the human race). This Sunday I'm taking Ruby to a pro basketball game and dinner at Vickery's (also an amazing restaurant). While I've looked at the menu, and determined there are things I'll be able to eat (salads, side veggie items, etc.), I'm not sure I'll be able to completely stick to the "raw or steamed" only portion of the guidelines. They have this sauteed spinach that looks incredible, so I might just have to cheat... just this one time. Don't hate me!

Finally, with next week comes an historic Inauguration... that I will be attending. Three days in DC, however, means three days of eating out. Granted, I'll be able to consume fish and will still be able to maintain a healthy diet, I'm beginning to think some serious changes will need to be made to Phase #3. So, instead of "Fruit, Veggies & Fish Only" I'm going to allow beans, eggs, whole wheat grains aaaaand I think that's it.

Pah! The beauty of creating your own diet!

In other news, my beer belly is 90% GONE. I'm so proud of myself. :-)

The Weekender

Last week, I experienced the definition of "Best Weekend Ever"... or maybe, "Best Weekend In Awhile". It was one of those weekends where you happen to stumble into a good time at every turn. It was a weekend full of surprises - both good and bad.

Friday: After a long day of non-work, a new friend of mine came over to pre-game before the nights festivities. We had no concrete plans... we just wanted to see where the night would take us. We pre-gamed at my house and headed towards a trendy part of town full of bars and inexpensive restaurants. After a few $3 vodka martinis and light appetizers at one of my favorite tapas bars, we headed to a lounge in another popular part of town. Our friends were the party promoters and the event was free all night. After making our way into VIP we met a group of charming young men (most of them, at least), one of whom was drop-dead gorgeous. Slightly taller than me, scruffy mustache and beard, a hat that covered his face, and a charm that I hadn't encountered in awhile. He was so cute. He bought me a drink (after I teased him for babysitting his own), we danced a bit, and exchanged numbers. By 2:00 the lights were on and it was time for all of us to peace out. But my homegirl and I weren't tired. So, off to another venue to meet some of her guy friends from a local HBCU. Just as we're arriving to their party spot, the venue is clearing out. We're figuring out the next move and two of the three guys are playfully hitting on me already. I'm having a great time to say the least. But, it's time to go. What to do? Breakfast. We agree to meet at one guy's house for an early morning meal of pancakes, eggs and bacon. Yum.

In my drunken stupor, however, I end up drunk dialing the boy. All of these new boy-toy options, coupled with the fact that HE and I never discuss what's going on with us... well, it was starting to confuse me. I need clearly defined boundaries, rules and structure in my life. I need to be fully aware of what's going on at all times, so that I can behave (or misbehave) accordingly. It sounds vaguely narcissistic, but it's necessary! It's weird, too. In any other aspect of my life, I'm completely willing to go with the flow. With this young man, however, I'm irrational, overly pensive and always second-guessing. Though I value the relationship that I'm currently building with the boy, I need to know that we're on the same page. I need to know that we're respecting some sort of undefined boundaries though our "relationship" lacks a title and therefore requires no such thing. I'm telling you, the "boo" status never amounts to anything truly positive.

Our conversation results in absolutely nothing substantial, so I hang up the phone and head to breakfast. No need in brooding over something I cannot control or fix. After stuffing my face with carbs and sugar, I fall asleep on the couch with the two flirters. By 7:00 am my eyes crack open to rays on sunshine beaming through the blinds. It's time to go home. What a great night!

Saturday: After sleeping the day away, I head over to see the 4th bridesmaid, "Melanie". Melanie was the first person I met in college. We had the exact same major, we were both in the honors program, and at the time, we were both very uptight (while I eventually grew out of that, Mel still possesses the trait). Mel is from this city where we both currently reside, so to save money, she lives with her parents. Her dad was celebrating a birthday, so family friends were on their way. On top of that, I would be there, as would Melanie's "friend" who happened to be a boy. This young man, however, was not to be confused with a "boyfriend". Melanie, for whatever reason, was scared to death of using this title just yet.

Melanie's parents were great hosts and hilarious company. Her dad is a born comedian and her mom is a natural entertainer. He was telling jokes while she was playing songs on the piano. Between the hospitality, wonderful food and countless glasses of wine, I was content with the evening as it was. But there was more to come! After dinner, the non-boyfriend, Melanie and I headed downtown for more drinks at a local bar. We were meeting up with the non-boyfriend's friends to see what trouble we could get into. We ended up drinking pitchers of beer and playing flip-cup while watching football on several widescreens. I headed home on a full stomach, a full buzz, and a sore face from laughing so much. I slept well that night.

Sunday: Quality time with my "little sister/mentee" named "Ruby". I was running late (as usual) to pick her up, and thus, I was a little stressed. Her birthday had just passed, and I wanted to do something special for her as she celebrated ten years on earth. Ideally, I would have made it to her birthday party, but her mother neglected to tell me that the date and time had changed. Thus, I was left to my own devices and had to plan something else for us to do... Today would only be our second outing, and I wanted everything to go smoothly.

I picked her up and we went to church, which ended up being really inspirational for me. The message was very helpful and pertained exactly to my current work/emotional situation. Ruby, however, was less enthused. I guess when I was ten I found church a little drab too... ah well. Next, we went to dinner at Copeland's Cheesecake Factory. As we drove through the parking deck, and walked through various shops and restaurants to reach Copeland's, Ruby asked where we were. "Are we in a different country?" she asked. Wow. I frequented Atlantic Station on a regular basis. I shopped, ate and watched movies there all the time. I guess, though, this strip mall/neighborhood really was a stark contrast to the Section 8 housing projects in which she lived. Over dinner, she mentioned how much fun she was having, which made me smile. I mean, it was only church and dinner. But I guess, to her, it meant a lot.

We took a few pictures in front of the newly planted Christmas Tree before leaving. I guess Ruby had never played with a digital camera before, because she wanted to photograph everything. "I want to take pictures of this new country," she had said. While her morning and afternoon had been full of surprises and discovery, the evening would provide a doozy of a surprise for me.

As I dropped her off, and noted how quickly nighttime was approaching, I made subtle haste in getting back in my car to leave. No offense, but no one wants to be in an unfamiliar part of town at night... alone. I was pulling around the corner eyeing three young boys who appeared to be playing with something. What they were playing with is something I couldn't quite discern. I assumed it was a stick or something. But one last glance proved their toy was no stick at all... it wasn't even a toy, for that matter. Those boys were playing with a gun.

My shoulders sunk. My heart dropped. I shook my head. How tragic it was that my mentee was living in a neighborhood, in a community, where something so frightening could take place. These children had access to a gun. Loaded or not, the exposure in and of itself was dangerous. I considered going back to the apartment to inform her mom... but I imagined that she already knew things like this were going on around her. Who was I kidding? This was culture shock to me, and me only. I was a visitor in this neighborhood... and it was time for me to go home. But, I had my work cut out for me. I saw how much Ruby really needed me and I was looking forward to the challenge.