We Can't Kick It If You Can't Spell

A long, long, looong time ago, when I was on facebook (in the pre-"note" era) there was an application that mirrored blogs. Now, I'm not sure if the whole "note" thing stuck around from 2006 until now, or left and came back, but I'm hearing that it has only recently become popular. I always have been a little ahead of my time. Regardless, after I graduated and began to mingle with young men in DC, NY and what not, I noticed a sad, sad atrocity. These bamas can't spell.

To me, there is nothing more unattractive than receiving a text from an otherwise cute guy, only to learn that he doesn't grasp the fundamentals of grammar. I know they stopped teaching it in grade school, so I guess I should be upset with our education system or something... but I'm not. I get irritated with the guy who can't spell. Your ability to spell, properly conjugate verbs, and - for the love of GOD - differentiate between otherwise troubling words and contractions, is imperative to me. There's a HUGE difference between "your" and "you're," for example.

I received a handwritten note from a man at my gym yesterday. Not a business card. A handwritten note. Are we in grade school? Clearly not, because ol' boy - excuse me, old MAN - could not spell.

"I think your incredibly attractive. Let's do lunch." Ahem. It should be "you're," sir. Correct me if I'm wrong, but what you want to say is "'you are' incredibly attractive." I appreciate the compliment, though it's bewildering that a guy will approach me in a sweaty t-shirt and booty shorts before he'll approach me in a nice spring dress at a restaurant or something. But I digress. Proper spelling and grammar speaks to a person's educational foundation. Granted, some people slip from time to time, but for the most part, educated people can produce coherent sentences free of grammatical errors. I mean, I wouldn't ever be able to carry on a text or e-mail conversation with you because I'd be too distracted by your grammatical flaws. And we couldn't raise kids, because I wouldn't trust you to help them with their English homework. I would always be correcting you, which in turn, would annoy you, causing lots of arguments... which I would win, because I always win. See, it's the tiny things that we overlook in people that sometimes point to a bigger problem. And, I have girlfriends that make this mistake all the time but I love them still. (I don't plan on marrying any of them... so it's less bothersome. Weird, huh?) On top of that, how can you function in a professional setting making mistakes like that all the time? People might overlook it, but it only means that 1. they, themselves, cannot spell, or 2. they secretly recognize your shortcoming and politely disregard it. I'm just saying...

Whatever. To the forty year-old man that hit on me last night: "you're" is a contraction. When you mean to say "you are", you condense the two words to form "you're." "I know where you're going" = "I know where you are going." See? Grammar is fun.
"Your" describes possession. "I like your ring" = "I like the ring that you possess."

It also annoys me to no end, when immature, crude young men attempt to impress me with their overtly sexual vernacular. "I can't wait to see you butt naked." Sir, it's "buck - naked" and you will be waiting for the rest of your life.

There are also differences between for, four and fore; to, too and two; there, their and they're. Ah. That last trio gets me ALL THE TIME.

"There" is a noun. It's a place. "I love Moods Music in Little Five; Let's go there."
"Their" is possessive. "American Apparel is my fave; I love their clothes."
"They're" is a contraction of "they" and "are." "They're going to dinner after the movie" = "They are going to dinner after the movie."

Dudes - please do not text or e-mail me saying: "Yo - their's a party tonight at Dulce. You should come thru. Their's gonna be plenty of liq, so bring you're girls."

No. No. No. Delete my number! We can't kick it if you can't spell!!!!