Dear Boss

Dear Boss,

When we go over things in meetings - do you listen to me? When I clearly lay out the parameters of a project, illustrating costs, profit margins, investments and revenue totals - do you camp out in Lala Land until my lips stop moving?

For the past 6 weeks I have been working diligently on a project that has produced (aside from results) obstacles, challenges, setbacks, creative discrepancies, email floods, questions, comments, and maybe even a few gray hairs. Now that it's time to pull the trigger and start making deposits and other financial commitments to BACK said project, I'm confronted with even more obstacles, challenges, questions, comments and concerns.

No, sir.

I can not and will not be stressed beyond my current stress level, which is already high. I thought I had learned to relax in the workplace as a bi-product of the summer's events. Evidently I'm hardheaded. But as I sit here, typing, breathing deeply and recounting some of Linda's advice from my lunch hour, I have reached this conclusion: I cannot be consumed by nit picky trivialities that you overlooked the first three times I presented this information to you.

The reasoning behind this decision is that I have the tendency to wear my emotions on my sleeve. When I'm tired or stressed by work, the whole world can tell. I don't like that. I pressure myself to at least present the illusion that everything is okay... from 9 am - 6 pm at a bare minimum. When I go home, or find myself in the presence of friends, I'm allowed to break down and let it all out. But at work? I keep it professional. Well, to the best of my ability, which is trying when my workload is increased exponentially during the busiest and most pressure-filled quarter of the year.

Such is life.

Linda was helpful in allowing me to see that I can "have it all together" and still succumb to daily stressors in the workplace. My innate reactions are within reason and understandable, particularly considering what's at stake and the expectations of me. Anyone would be on edge. And, while that makes 100% sense, it doesn't completely set my mind at ease. When a person sets high standards for herself, and typically exceeds even her own expectations... what do you have? A recipe for success... or perhaps a catastrophe.

In the end, I'm confident I will close out 2009 on top as far as my career is concerned. In the meantime, however, I'm going to need my boss to pay closer attention when I explain things. It's really as simple as that.