I Met a Boy, Part II

On the Monday following said “incident” he called me to confirm a few things. He couldn’t quite remember exactly everything that had transpired. Okay, cool. Everything is fine. Nobody has ANYthing to worry about. But his tone… there was something in his tone that I just didn’t quite like. It was a subtle mix of fear, mild condescension and too much tact. When we hung up I felt completely put off, and somewhat discouraged. The old Michele would have “let it go” meaning: toss and turn all night, wrack my brain to figure out what his “tone” meant, and do everything but, in fact, let it go. Instead, I called him back. I told him that there was clearly a conversation that we should have had a long, long time ago, and the idea that this was making him exceedingly uncomfortable was beginning to make me uncomfortable. The conversation ended civilly enough, and I felt good about speaking my mind instead of being my typical passive-aggressive self. We resolved everything. On to the next one.

Except, I didn’t talk to him at all that week. No text. No calls. No gchat. No nothing. By Friday, I was on the verge of just cutting him off once and for all. Instead, I sent him an email. Cut and paste for your reading pleasure here:

I know you're not a phone person, so I'm hoping you're an e-mail person. I know you're slammed with work and grad school apps, but I was hoping to get a little of your time this week or this weekend. My schedule is pretty crazy too with last minute holiday stuff, so I imagine it may be difficult. I'd still like to try to get together, though.

We haven't spoken at all since Monday. I can't help but assume it has something to do with the nature of our last conversation. I've been thinking a lot about it, and I feel as though we handled it appropriately. I will admit I was annoyed at how it happened and how we resolved it, but I'm hoping that it's something we both feel okay about.

Aside from that, I'm having trouble figuring out the best way to get to know you. I thought we liked each other, but perhaps I misread something. Without consistent phone calls or text messages, we're limited to going out. Given both of our schedules, those outings seem to be few and far between. I'm not complaining, but I do want to make sure we're on the same page. We've been hanging out for a few weeks, but I can't say I really know you any better than I did on October 24th.

I hope this note finds you well. Perhaps I'll see or hear from you sooner than later.

Short. Sweet. Non-emotional. To the point.

He responded, via g-chat, with bullet points.

hey. just read your email. a few thoughts:

12:25 PM -- thanks for the thoughtful note. i think you've been very respectful of my time commitments (or lack thereof) and I'm appreciative of that

12:26 PM -- on the Monday conversation/weekend events... I'm quite disappointed in myself by my saturday actions and not just what happened between us but how much i drank and the fact that i drove after drinking so much, so i'm still trying to get a grip on that

12:27 PM -- on the getting to know me piece: this is a much longer conversation and one that may or may be better to have in person. however, i'll say a few quick things.

12:30 PM actually, i'll leave it at that

Now, I know my email was concise and all, but it was still a letter. His response was so... formal. It must be the consultant in him. I let him know I had a lunch commitment for work and that I needed to leave the computer for a bit, but that we would catch up later. Do you know I didn’t hear from him for three weeks? No “Merry Christmas,” no “Happy New Year.” I didn’t even bother calling him on his birthday (December 27th) because I was so disappointed at having been ignored for a week and a half. Time passed, and I was slowing “letting HIM go” (aggressively, not passively) by occupying my time with the Holiday 5K, heading home, seeing an old flame, connecting with high school friends, etc. etc.

But this past Wednesday I decided I wanted to break the silence. Clearly he just wasn’t that into me. And, that was fine. I had been through worse. I could call a two-month fling what it was, and not be scarred by it. Yes, I would have liked to have seen our little blossom continue to bloom… especially during the cold winter months… but I could accept that that was not going to happen. I just wanted to know 1. if he had gotten some of his belongings that I had mailed to him and 2. what had happened? Had I done something wrong? Was he really THAT busy? (NO) Did he have the balls to say he just wasn’t feeling me anymore?

I sent a passive gchat note. He responded a day later with a passive reply. I have yet to say anything else. I’ve confided in Melanie to see if she has any insight; and all she harbors now is contempt for Aaron. She’s upset that a guy that smart could be so dumb. It happens. I think she’s more mad than I am! LOL. I’m not even mad, really. It’s like I said – he’s the biggest (and most confusing) highlight of Q4, 2009. And, perhaps that’s where he should stay…


The jury is still out on that one...