Life Training

I've made my mother upset with me. Well, not "upset" upset... but, you know, more than uncomfortable. In my exuberance and excitement following the "Light the Night" Walk hosted by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS) I decided to sign up for a half-marathon in March. LLS has this organization called Team In Training - a group of extreme sports athletes who raise funds for LLS and train for marathons, half marathons, triathlons, you name it.

The stars aligned to even get me to this point.  During my blogging hiatus I applied to Yale's Diversity Weekend and got rejected. In an effort to stay positive, I applied to Stern's "Women in Business" weekend, scheduled myself to attend a class and grab a coffee with a current student. In the midst of my NYU weekend, I met an applicant who happened to mention how she had raised funds for this organization because her father had Leukemia... 

"Wait, did you say your father had Leukemia? Have you heard of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society?" I inquired.

"Yeah!" she said, shocked. "They have this thing called 'Team in Training' where you train for these races and raise money for LLS. It's great because you have a team to motivate you even when you may not feel like training. They give you a coach, and a trainer... they prep you with all these health seminars along the way. It's really rewarding," my new friend said.

I was sold. As soon as I got back to work the following day, I googled TNT, found a local race, and bam! Not only was there an upcoming half-marathon in my area, but it happened to be the EXACT SAME RACE CeCe had mentioned to me a few weeks before. When she first suggested it, I was less than enthused. At the time, we still had our little 5K to run (we both killed that on December 19, btw). But knowing that I could continue to work with LLS and tone my petite little self at the same time was too much of a good thing. I let her know we were doing it, and even got her on board to fundraise with me. Friends - and I mean REAL friends - are very hard to come by.

Fast forward to this week. I had retrieved my mother's address book over the holiday break and let her know I was going to be sending fundraising letters to a good portion of the people in it. To be honest, when I drafted the letter for this particular fundraiser - much like the email I sent out for the "Light the Night" walk - I referenced my loved one as "a close family member". I tried to maintain anonymity and respect my mother's privacy.  But... Mom beat the cancer in October. She was feeling much, much better. She was singing, traveling, and living her life like her old self. So, in the final letter, to compel people to donate, and to make it even more personal, I stated I was raising the money for Mom. I was proud of her. I was emotional. And I wanted to let people know that my mom was one tough cookie.

Well. Tonight I got my first shocked phone call from a cousin. Wamp, wamp.

"HOW IS SHE? HOW DID I NOT KNOW? WE ARE DEFINITELY GOING TO DONATE."

While I was happy to get my point across, I knew my mom was about to be pissed about these upcoming phone calls. Seventy-five letters. I sent out seventy-freaking-five letters to family, close friends, and a handful of personal Atlanta contacts.

I've done the math, and I think only about 33 of the people on the list MIGHT actually call her... and that's if they have her number. But damn. This is exactly what she wanted to avoid by not having ever mentioned it to family friends before. Point taken. I'm sorry.

I called her to prepare her for what might ensue. She told me she was proud of me, and didn't want to rain on my parade, but this is why she hesitated to even help out with fundraising to begin with. She didn't like the way people looked at her or spoke to her when they found out she had cancer. She said people will continue to use the word "have" - the present tense - even though she's already beaten it. Once a cancer patient, always a cancer patient. "There's power in words," she said. "I don't want words interfering with what has already come and gone."

And perhaps this is just me, but that is where I disagree. God shines brightest through other people's trials and tribulations. We learn how to be strong by watching and surrounding ourselves with strong people. Over the past few months, I've had more friends tell me they admire MY strength than ever before. My strength? What makes you think I have that?

They watched me cry. They watched me pray. They listened to me rationalize. They saw me grow. They saw GOD carry me through what was truly the most difficult period in my life. And, you know, I hope that means I was able to bring at least one other person closer to God. I hope my overcoming was evidence for someone else to believe that God is able. God will not fail. He will not forsake you. He will carry you through.

And... well, maybe... I'm hoping that Mom will see it's time to shine her light a little too. When people call or approach her with the whiny 'how are you feeling' schtick, maybe she can just smile, gracefully, and let the person know she's feeling fine. She's 100% better. She's good.

And, maybe, when they ask how she got through it, she can say "the Lord got me through it."

And, maybe, it will touch one person. To touch just ONE would be enough. And they'll take those six words home with them and begin a new relationship with GOD...

Or maybe she'll just ignore her phone for the next few days.

Sighs. I hate when I get on a person's bad side. She's my mom, so I don't expect I'll stay there too long... but. Man. I was just trying to do something good! Something positive! For HER! My excitement got the best of me, I guess. Lesson learned.