Playing "Mom"

The weekend was absolutely beautiful. It was the first weekend since the half marathon that I could actually sleep in, relax and enjoy myself! But of course, other duties called. I was overdue a visit with Ruby and had other responsibilities that required my attention. It was fine, though. For the first time in a long time, I was NOT going to be training, studying or stressing. I was looking forward to what the weekend had in store.

Saturday I woke up with plans to take Ruby to a theme park. Cece's goddaughters were in town too, so she, her boyfriend, her goddaughters, Ruby and I headed to the park for a makeshift family reunion. It was sure to be a crash course for us in what parenting was *really* like. We were excited.

Ruby had never been to the park before, and I could see as we neared the rollercoasters and excitement that she was eager to explore it all. Unfortunately she'd been having "attitude problems" lately, according to her mom. So, I told her we were going to the museum. Her face quickly fell. I couldn't help myself. I've given her the impression that I'm an outlet for fun, I think. I needed to remind her that, as mentor, I was here to help guide her in all facets of her life - and a bad attitude was not going to cut it.

My facade quickly faded as we made our way into the grand entrance. But I made Ruby pinky swear that she would heed her mother's directions (the FIRST time, not after being asked repeatedly), she would NOT talk back to her teachers, and that she'd make better efforts on her nightly homework assignments. We'll see how that goes.

After an afternoon in the sun, we took our kids to Saturday Night Service. It was Easter weekend, and we had MUCH to be thankful for. I could tell Ruby was less than enthused to spend her Saturday evening at church - but tough luck. Among the many things I hope to teach her during our relationship - one will be to praise Him from whom all blessings flow...

The pastor did a dramatic interpretation of Jesus' Crucifixion from the viewpoint of Cleopus, preaching from the book of Luke. It was powerful.  Of course the poor child couldn't sit still through the hour-long service (short for Easter, right??), but what disheartened me most was that she had never even heard the Easter story before. She didn't know why we celebrated Easter nor did she understand or appreciate the significance of Jesus dying for our sins and rising again...

::sighs::

I did my best to provide her with the Cliffs Notes version on our ride back to her house. I then challenged her to remember the Lord's Prayer (she couldn't) and delve a little deeper into understanding it's meaning. She bored of our little talk very quickly.

I know it's not my responsibility to teach her religion or spirituality. And I know when I was eleven I hated going to Church each morning. But now that I'm an adult, having grown up "in the church", understanding the meaning behind Christian holidays, and knowing that I can always count on God - I don't know what I would have done if my mom DID NOT make me get out of bed each Sunday to worship Him. I don't know how I would have made it through some of life's trials thus far. Because my mother instilled that discipline in me early - to go to church every Sunday - I've managed to carry it with me through adulthood...

Is this an L I'm just going to have to take with Ruby? I don't have the patience to monitor her every Sunday... pick her up, make her sit still, explain the sermon to her, and take her home. After all, she's really not my child. But, I feel like if I could leave her with anything - better grammar, higher self-esteem, the ability to make good choices... the most worthwhile and relevant would be a relationship with God.

I'll pray on it...