Not an "Option"

I am more than a late-night, creep-through, taboo, kiss-but-don't-tell OPTION.

I am beautiful. I am confident. I have my shit together (for the most part). I'm smart. I'm capable. And, I deserve to be treated that way.

I am TIRED of men living lives where they have their cake and eat it too. If you know I'm in town, and you know you want to see me, and you're considering you might want to have a slumber party, DO NOT have guests over at your house until 3:00 am, and think I'll leave and come back to "kick it". You have lost your mind. You should have thought that through before XBox live became the center of your attention for three hours. You should have thought that through before two other girls walked through your door while I was sitting there. You should have thought that through when I announced, LOUDLY, that I was about to leave at 2:30 am. You should have kicked everyone else out.

But no, you let me leave, and asked if I'd come back in 45 minutes. Two years ago, the answer would have been "yes" hands down, because I was thirsty. I loved attention and affection and I did a lot to get it. If a certain someone had asked me the same question five months ago, I would have obliged because I was blinded by what I thought was love. And, maybe it was love... but I'm not in that place or frame-of-mind anymore. If you want my time, you need to act like it. Regardless of whether or not our relationship is "casual" I am not to be treated casually. When you appeared to be "playing it cool" you were really just playing yourself. Step your game up.

WHEW. If I have learned anything it is this: people will treat you exactly the way you let them. I'm no longer the cute puppy dog salivating at the chance for late night encounters. I have new perspective. I have higher standards. I have learned how to make myself happy when nobody else is around. I don't need this bullshit.

Is it too demanding for me to ask that you end prior engagements at a respectable hour so that we can spend quality time together? No. This is not college, and I am not your groupie. I'm not "hanging out" until everyone leaves or falls asleep on your couch. I am grown, and so are you. Maybe I'm just a little bit farther down the road... I'm not concerned with what you did last night or what you're doing tomorrow. All I know is, if you think something is happening between us tonight, it needs to be made a priority. I'm not some afterthought for when Madden grows old. Get it together.