Notes to God, III

Hi God,

::sighs:: I've been given a cumbersome load this summer. And, now that the seasons are changing, I'm reflecting on how I handled everything. I would say I did okay. I grew closer to you. I made some mistakes. I learned. I matured. I moved forward. But this weekend presented a new test... and I'm not sure why I needed to go through it. Perhaps my "street smarts" are not up to par with my "book smarts" but I'm not sure why I needed to be tested on those strengths just now? Not questioning you... just throwing that out there.

Friday was hectic to say the least. I woke up late, which meant I was late for my follow-up appointment with the doctor. I was having blood work done and getting a Tetanus Booster shot. Running late to that appointment made me late to my 9:30 meeting at work. That was just annoying. My manager understood and told me my health came first, which I appreciated. But DAMN. Why couldn't I have just gotten out of bed 30 minutes earlier? SMH.

I needed to go back home during lunch and straighten up my apartment. My cousins were going to be staying at my place while I ventured home to see Mom. The keys that I'd had made at Home Depot didn't work (again!) so they would be using my one and only key. I wanted everything to be perfect when they arrived, so I was exhausting myself to get things in order.

Rushed back to work to finish up a project that was due by EOD. Sped BACK home to meet my cousins, pass along the house key, and get on the road for my 6 hour trek to NC. I stopped at a gas station when a man stopped me to inquire about the dent above my right passenger wheel (from where I got hit a few months back). Interestingly enough, someone had stopped me about a week or so ago to ask about the very same dent, offering immediate assistance & repair... for a mere $400. Right. No thank you. Well this young, non-African American minority wanted to fix the dent as well for only $300! Now, I had just gotten paid, but I knew that was too much money to spend on a repair... especially in the parking lot of a gas station.

So, I pulled over to hear his pitch, and before I knew what was happening, he had jumped out of the car, was spackling little Jada with some green goo, and was hammering, prying and shaping the dent without my formal consent. He put the special goo all over the car really, telling me he'd get all of the smaller scratches/dents out for no extra cost. "I don't have $300," I said. "Whatever you can spare ma'am, God bless you," he replied.

I peered in his back seat and saw a young girl sitting there. His daughter, maybe? And sheesh, it was so hot outside. Was he really this desperate for cash? To stop me at a GAS STATION and perform an odd job on a whim? It was sketchy, I'll admit. But, why had so many men been asking me about this measly dent on my car? It wasn't impairing my driving. Why did they care?

Because I was an easy mark. I called three men in my life to ask what I should REALLY pay for the service this man was providing. He told me the "goo" needed to sit on my car for a few hours... to fully get the scratches out... and to protect the paint. So, I couldn't actually see how well he had repaired my car. My dad told me to pay the dude $50. My brother said $150. My cousin said "as close to $300 as I felt comfortable".

I should have listened to Daddy. I've been trying to get this stupid green gunk off my car for the past two days. After a few minor attempts I could see that the scavenging hustler lied to my face about every single "service" he was doing. The dent above my right passenger wheel is admittedly gone - but it still looks a hot mess. The scratch on the rear drivers side is still there - blatantly. The small scratches haven't disappeared. I'm upset about it. Why was he allowed to take advantage of me like that?

I didn't give him $300 like he asked. But I gave him more than $50! What's disappointing is that the money I spent was a nice chunk of the bonus from the hellish project I labored over this summer. That was MY hard-earned money. Gone. And this is the second time in one season a man has pulled the blinds over my eyes, sold me a dream, and left me with nothing. I'm tired of people taking advantage of me. Why does this keep happening.

I've been trying to process the whole series of events, and have decided I can feel one of two ways: 1. Glad I only spent the amount I did; appreciative of a lesson learned (albeit somewhat pricey); and hopeful that the money I gave him will go towards something worthwhile - like food or school materials for the daughter who was sitting in the backseat. 2. I could be pissed.

Obviously I'm going with the former, though the latter is still lingering in my brain. I'm pissed, man. That money was supposed to go towards my new David Yurman bracelet... or my upcoming GMAT class. Geez. That man got me on the okie-doke. I got "got". And I have no contact information for him... no nothing. I guess I was just so eager to finally have my car fixed... and happy to finally be able to afford it (even if it was in the parking lot of a QuikTrip). Now I'm out of money with nothing to show for it. I hope that man is enjoying his win.

So, I guess, God, I'm just wondering why that was necessary. Maybe he needed the money more than I needed a bracelet? Maybe you wanted to show me that I can't trust everyone. I really wanted to see the good in this guy, you know? I wanted to believe that he was doing something right; something positive. Trying to see the "good" in everyone sometimes gets me in trouble, however. It gets my feelings hurt. I can't always champion that glimmer of "goodness" into a personality trait. A glimpse of goodness does not a "good person" make. And, that makes sense. It sucks. But, it makes sense.

Thanks, God. Love you.