The Weekender

Last week, I experienced the definition of "Best Weekend Ever"... or maybe, "Best Weekend In Awhile". It was one of those weekends where you happen to stumble into a good time at every turn. It was a weekend full of surprises - both good and bad.

Friday: After a long day of non-work, a new friend of mine came over to pre-game before the nights festivities. We had no concrete plans... we just wanted to see where the night would take us. We pre-gamed at my house and headed towards a trendy part of town full of bars and inexpensive restaurants. After a few $3 vodka martinis and light appetizers at one of my favorite tapas bars, we headed to a lounge in another popular part of town. Our friends were the party promoters and the event was free all night. After making our way into VIP we met a group of charming young men (most of them, at least), one of whom was drop-dead gorgeous. Slightly taller than me, scruffy mustache and beard, a hat that covered his face, and a charm that I hadn't encountered in awhile. He was so cute. He bought me a drink (after I teased him for babysitting his own), we danced a bit, and exchanged numbers. By 2:00 the lights were on and it was time for all of us to peace out. But my homegirl and I weren't tired. So, off to another venue to meet some of her guy friends from a local HBCU. Just as we're arriving to their party spot, the venue is clearing out. We're figuring out the next move and two of the three guys are playfully hitting on me already. I'm having a great time to say the least. But, it's time to go. What to do? Breakfast. We agree to meet at one guy's house for an early morning meal of pancakes, eggs and bacon. Yum.

In my drunken stupor, however, I end up drunk dialing the boy. All of these new boy-toy options, coupled with the fact that HE and I never discuss what's going on with us... well, it was starting to confuse me. I need clearly defined boundaries, rules and structure in my life. I need to be fully aware of what's going on at all times, so that I can behave (or misbehave) accordingly. It sounds vaguely narcissistic, but it's necessary! It's weird, too. In any other aspect of my life, I'm completely willing to go with the flow. With this young man, however, I'm irrational, overly pensive and always second-guessing. Though I value the relationship that I'm currently building with the boy, I need to know that we're on the same page. I need to know that we're respecting some sort of undefined boundaries though our "relationship" lacks a title and therefore requires no such thing. I'm telling you, the "boo" status never amounts to anything truly positive.

Our conversation results in absolutely nothing substantial, so I hang up the phone and head to breakfast. No need in brooding over something I cannot control or fix. After stuffing my face with carbs and sugar, I fall asleep on the couch with the two flirters. By 7:00 am my eyes crack open to rays on sunshine beaming through the blinds. It's time to go home. What a great night!

Saturday: After sleeping the day away, I head over to see the 4th bridesmaid, "Melanie". Melanie was the first person I met in college. We had the exact same major, we were both in the honors program, and at the time, we were both very uptight (while I eventually grew out of that, Mel still possesses the trait). Mel is from this city where we both currently reside, so to save money, she lives with her parents. Her dad was celebrating a birthday, so family friends were on their way. On top of that, I would be there, as would Melanie's "friend" who happened to be a boy. This young man, however, was not to be confused with a "boyfriend". Melanie, for whatever reason, was scared to death of using this title just yet.

Melanie's parents were great hosts and hilarious company. Her dad is a born comedian and her mom is a natural entertainer. He was telling jokes while she was playing songs on the piano. Between the hospitality, wonderful food and countless glasses of wine, I was content with the evening as it was. But there was more to come! After dinner, the non-boyfriend, Melanie and I headed downtown for more drinks at a local bar. We were meeting up with the non-boyfriend's friends to see what trouble we could get into. We ended up drinking pitchers of beer and playing flip-cup while watching football on several widescreens. I headed home on a full stomach, a full buzz, and a sore face from laughing so much. I slept well that night.

Sunday: Quality time with my "little sister/mentee" named "Ruby". I was running late (as usual) to pick her up, and thus, I was a little stressed. Her birthday had just passed, and I wanted to do something special for her as she celebrated ten years on earth. Ideally, I would have made it to her birthday party, but her mother neglected to tell me that the date and time had changed. Thus, I was left to my own devices and had to plan something else for us to do... Today would only be our second outing, and I wanted everything to go smoothly.

I picked her up and we went to church, which ended up being really inspirational for me. The message was very helpful and pertained exactly to my current work/emotional situation. Ruby, however, was less enthused. I guess when I was ten I found church a little drab too... ah well. Next, we went to dinner at Copeland's Cheesecake Factory. As we drove through the parking deck, and walked through various shops and restaurants to reach Copeland's, Ruby asked where we were. "Are we in a different country?" she asked. Wow. I frequented Atlantic Station on a regular basis. I shopped, ate and watched movies there all the time. I guess, though, this strip mall/neighborhood really was a stark contrast to the Section 8 housing projects in which she lived. Over dinner, she mentioned how much fun she was having, which made me smile. I mean, it was only church and dinner. But I guess, to her, it meant a lot.

We took a few pictures in front of the newly planted Christmas Tree before leaving. I guess Ruby had never played with a digital camera before, because she wanted to photograph everything. "I want to take pictures of this new country," she had said. While her morning and afternoon had been full of surprises and discovery, the evening would provide a doozy of a surprise for me.

As I dropped her off, and noted how quickly nighttime was approaching, I made subtle haste in getting back in my car to leave. No offense, but no one wants to be in an unfamiliar part of town at night... alone. I was pulling around the corner eyeing three young boys who appeared to be playing with something. What they were playing with is something I couldn't quite discern. I assumed it was a stick or something. But one last glance proved their toy was no stick at all... it wasn't even a toy, for that matter. Those boys were playing with a gun.

My shoulders sunk. My heart dropped. I shook my head. How tragic it was that my mentee was living in a neighborhood, in a community, where something so frightening could take place. These children had access to a gun. Loaded or not, the exposure in and of itself was dangerous. I considered going back to the apartment to inform her mom... but I imagined that she already knew things like this were going on around her. Who was I kidding? This was culture shock to me, and me only. I was a visitor in this neighborhood... and it was time for me to go home. But, I had my work cut out for me. I saw how much Ruby really needed me and I was looking forward to the challenge.