My Work E-Mail?

So. Awhile ago I did something silly. I'll admit it was slightly psychotic, but whatever. Sometimes people will push you places. I sent the new GF an email detailing all of the ups and downs of my "relationship" with the boy. The only catch - I sent it from a fake e-mail address. Fun, right? Nice and dramatic.

Time passed, he withdrew his business from my company. He and I exchanged choice words via email, gchat, what have you. I was making progress in my life, learning to live without him, juggling the multiple work stresses and stresses from back at home... I was doing okay.

In a conversation with Dionne the other day, however, she revealed that he had been treating her "weird" in the past months. She didn't know about the email, but once I explained the situation to her, she said things began to make sense. No wonder he had been rude and stand-offish with her in social settings. He thought SHE was the one who sent the cold and somewhat out-of-line email. ::sighs::

Out of loyalty to her, I broke my two-month silence with the boy, notifying him that it was I who sent the email. He needed to keep Dionne out of it. Well, that was a terrible move. Within hours, I received an email from his GF - sent directly to my two google accounts and my work email. MY WORK EMAIL.

Let me tell you something. It doesn't matter what kind of personal drama anyone is EVER going through. You DO NOT play on people's work email. You DO. NOT. PLAY. on people's work email. Ever. No excuse. I was heated. Livid, really. Trembling to the point that I could not think straight.

Now, I guess this is what I get for playing around on email to start off with, but to be perfectly honest, my intentions weren't 100% malicious. I was angry to start off with, but I really felt like she should know what she was getting into. I guess she'll have to learn the hard way. No longer my problem. I can't say I haven't been plotting against her since yesterday though. Trying to figure out the right way to clear my name and erase all of the terrible lies that boy has been tellin her. But why do I even care? He's moving to New York to be with her, and based on her email to all THREE of my accounts, they're "incredibly happy" together. Well isn't that beautiful.

I'm going to try not to dwell on it. I really am. But I know how I get and it will take a minute to get this out of my system. The audacity of BOTH of them. He is a ridiculous person and it's a blessing that he has been removed from my life. She CLEARLY does not see the whole picture, otherwise she wouldn't be so desperate to paint their love story for me. I'm no longer sad about him or pining to have him back in my life. I secretly hope he gets hit by a bus in Harlem, or mugged in broad daylight. Is that bad?

Who cares.

My mom is hilarious. I'm so glad we're getting to the point where I can tell her *practically* anything. I told her tidbits about my current drama - enough to get her perspective without totally outing myself - and she agreed with me. She took my side. So I started telling her more stuff, the stuff I had done wrong, and she said to me "sometimes people just have to get cursed out." Now, my mother does not curse whatsoever. So to hear that comment from her made me laugh out loud. She said "sometimes people just push you to the point that you have to do that. If you can't talk to them in your language, you have to talk to them in theirs." It was nice to hear her say that. To me, it reaffirmed that I had been handling this okay. I couldn't escape blame for what I did, and I'll own up to that. But the fact that this boy has been lying to the GF about me, and she's buying every word is slowly driving me crazy.

It goes back to the control issue, I guess. Clearly I don't have any in this predicament. It's bittersweet to have to "let it go" especially when I have so much else I want/need to say to both of them. It just means the final episode of this soap opera will be epic. Knock down, drag out. Monumental. It's not to say that I thrive off of drama because I typically avoid it at all costs. But, man. He is taking it there, and I'm tired of being trampled by his foolishness. Deep breaths.

What goes around comes around.