Conventional Wisdom

It's unfortunate that it has taken me so long to appreciate the conventional wisdom of my mom and my grandparents.

It's only in candid, confidential conversations that I begin to learn who my mother, and my grandparents, really are. And through these conversations I begin to ask: why did it take 25 years for us to get here?

I've been talking to my mom almost every day now. I love it. She has let her guard down in a way that I don't believe I would have seen were it not for the Lymphoma. Truthfully, we've been able to laugh easily since I was in college. I guess by that point I had proven myself to the degree at which she could alleviate some of her own stressors. After graduation, we overcame another hurdle, and new conversation topics were then acceptable. Now that I'm working, paying my own bills, and she has encountered a slightly-non-threatening sickness, it feels as though (almost) nothing is off the table. I love it.

Earlier today (on this fine 4th of July!) I was making my way from Saturday Night Service to a BBQ when I decided to do my daily check-in. Mom groggily answered the phone, and once I confirmed that I hadn't interrupted her sleep, we began to catch up. We discussed the nature of the sermon, her most recent doctor appointment, my mid-term grade and the dirtiness of my apartment. "Well, don't worry about it," she said. "WHAT?" I exclaimed, laughing. "I don't think I've ever heard you say something like that," I chuckled. "Well, your Mamaw (that's what we call our grandma) always says 'don't worry about stuff like that - it'll work itself out.'" I smiled. This was true. The cleanliness of my one-bedroom apartment was honestly the least of my troubles.

It's not even that my mom and I exchanged any profound words in our most recent call; it's that the repetition, and progression of these calls grows more intense and more earnest as each day passes. And, as I reflect upon my post from this time last year, I'm reminded of my lightheartedness at the time and surprised by my current growth. I was so carefree when I was en route to The Taste in 2008. Now that I'm facing real life challenges, and enduring a number of hardships simultaneously, I see that my priorities have completely shifted... and I'm okay with that. Then, I'd rather charge a trip and get drunk with college friends. Now, I'd rather go to church and talk to my mom... and then get drunk with friends for free at a later hour :-).

While the past two months have undoubtedly been difficult, I'm looking forward to what July - December have to offer. Brighter days - I hope. ::sighs:: Tonight's cookout was full of beer, mojitos and grass. I'm completely relaxed and comfortable as I recount the past 12 hours. But I know that tomorrow I'll wake up, sobered and lonely, to face a new day with only the spirit of God at my side. And, I'm okay with that too. I just can't wait until that's no longer the case.. (the lonely part, that is).

It will happen. Trouble don't last always. And, if my mom's conventional wisdom has taught me anything, it is this: THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE. Looking forward to tomorrow...