Detox Diaries #4

I think I'm going to shoot somebody.

My roommate just walked into our apartment with a ufcking DAVID YURMAN bracelet on. Huh? What? First of all, it was only after I mentioned how desperately I wanted one that it occur ed to you, "hm, that's a good idea!" She stays jockin' my style. That's another reason I need to move out... she'll have me being reckless with my money... and '09 has no space for that. I know she can't afford that bracelet...I KNOW she can't. Whhhhhy does everybody else have all the things they want, and I'm over here scraping pennies?! Grr. (I also peeped a bunch of organic groceries in the fridge that aren't mine... daaaamn... biting me again! That's two-for-two! Guess she's trying to get in shape for the New Year. Can't fault her for that...)

Maybe the boy will buy me a David Yurman bracelet. HA! I laugh out loud to that.

The remainder of day #3 wasn't bad. I think sleeping all morning dramatically helps and reduces my hunger levels. But dinnertime is turning out to be the devil. Last night, I literally prepared an entire meal in my head. That's how hungry I was. Burrito Bowls: Tortilla bowl, shredded lettuce, corn with cilantro, rice, black beans, orange-marinated chicken, fresh guacamole, sour cream, and tons of shredded cheese. Oooh, I can taste it now. Instead, though, I had a laxative tea and called it a night.

Day #4 began at 5:30 am when the laxative tea and my pre-menstrual cramps kicked in. Terrible combination. Especially since not eating anything means I can't take any ibuprofen to relieve the pain. So I slept with my heating pad. I'm waking up now to drink some nasty salt water... which supposedly expedites the colon cleansing. It's gross, and I can't seem to finish it. I need to wash my hair today, too. But I have no energy.

Though I'm tired and occasionally dizzy, I would say the worst side effect of this diet is the crankiness. Or maybe that's just PMS. No way to tell.

Three more days to go...