Go Fish

The final weekend of March was a doozy. Melanie turned 25 on Friday, March 27th. The boy turned 25 of March 28th. Divvying up my time wouldn’t be too difficult…right? I spent Thursday night with Melanie, her family and close friends over dinner at South City Kitchen. I was supposed to meet up with her on Friday night as well, but the boy had just gotten here, and I was supposed to meet him at the Wale concert in midtown. There are never enough hours in the day. Suffice it to say; once I saw the boy in the sweaty, hole-in-the-wall venue, he never left my sight. Wale’s lyrics over hypnotic go-go beats reminded us both of DC and college. It was nostalgia at it’s finest. Guess I wasn’t going to make it to Aja for Melanie’s bday drinks. I could only hope that she would understand!!

Saturday morning I woke up and made him breakfast. His phone buzzed throughout the afternoon from with “Happy Birthday” texts and calls. On occasion he would answer and have a quick chat with the well-wisher, but he was mostly distracted with food, mimosas, mid-day naps and lounging around the apartment. It felt so natural to have him around. We did end up getting into a minor tiff in the late afternoon. But it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be resolved with a kiss. As he showered, I gave myself a pep talk – making myself snap out of the somber mood our conversation had just put me in. As he exited the bathroom, I moved right past him to wash away my annoyance at our conversation. I appreciated that he wanted to be fully honest with me about his previous relationships (explaining away the David Yurman comment from December, and elaborating more than I cared for him to). But there are some things a girl just doesn’t need to hear. As I bathed, he peeked around the shower curtain with puppy dog eyes. Apology accepted.

We got dressed, and headed to the Downtown Hilton to meet with some of his friends who were around for a fraternity regional conference. The initial pleasantries were nice enough. All but one of us had gone to college together, so clearly none of us were strangers. After small talk and banter about the Elite Eight and the status of our respective NCAA brackets, I guess the guys decided lightheartedly aggravate me. I was the only girl around, so naturally I was an easy target. “Damn, we live in the same city and I haven’t seen you in ages… I guess you don’t fool with me, huh?” said one of the guys. A playful comment, of course… but not one I was willing to entertain that evening. Granted, he and I did live in the same city, and we were cool, but he was right. I hadn’t seen him in ages. To me though, it wasn’t a big deal. We lived in a big city and the phone worked both ways.

“What do you mean?!” I jokingly replied back, hoping it would end there. Nope. He decided to run down dates of the last times we had seen each other, and then drew the striking conclusion that I “didn’t care about him…” or something. Well, honey, I hate to break your heart, but what the hell are you even talking about? What do I need to say so that we can end this conversation as quickly as possible? “You’re right! I’m a complete bitch. Come sit in my lap and let mama make it better.” No? “My goodness! Where has my mind been? I forgot you were the ruler of the universe and that I needed you in my life!!! Silly me.” Or… “Forget that my boo is over here – you know, your friend that’s sitting right across from us – give me your number again and we can chat this over when he falls asleep tonight.”

Give me a break. The victim role just does not sit well with me. “You haven’t called,” “I haven’t seen you,” and “you don’t fool with me,” are phrases that, I’ll admit, do have their place in life… just not amongst mutual friends to whom you barely spoke in college and with whom you have very little in common. Fishing for minor compliments so that your frail ego can boost itself up is transparent and pathetic. Come on. The thing is, the exact same scenario played out in Miami a few weeks ago. Another guy friend from college was attempting to give me a major guilt trip for not calling enough and not making enough of an effort to see him while I was in town. Who do I look like? I am not pressed about you fools. Grow up.

I know this is just a cute little game guys play to essentially say “we should hang out,” or “it’s good to see you again.” But why not use your grown up words and say just that: we should hang out! It’s good to see you again! I’d be a lot nicer in my responses if that were the case. Instead, I have to play along until I’m unnerved enough to finally roll my eyes and tell these minions to move the conversation along.

What if I just said “you’re right, I don’t care about you… now let’s have a nice little evening and not speak again until the next time I see you, okay?” Pah! I wonder how they would feel then. Who knows. For now, I’ll just resort to this statement: Sweetheart, I’m not sure what you’re looking for by making those comments… but I’m pretty sure I don’t have the answers you’re looking for. Go Fish.