Is Work Worth It?

My mom had a biopsy last week.

It worried me. She had been rushed to the emergency room a few weeks prior for stomach and back aches. It had gotten to the point where she just couldn't handle the pain. So, one Sunday morning, in lieu of heading to church, she and my father headed to the ER at 8 am. They stayed there for twelve hours. They sat in the waiting room, sat there for tests, more waiting, and eventually she was sent back home. It was two days after I turned 25, actually. Happy Birthday to me.

Today she learned she had an extremely mild version of lymphoma. Cancer. My mom could potentially have cancer. Both of Corinne's parents have been battling with the disease, her mother first, and her father now. I always knew that she was a strong young lady, but now I have completely new perspective. With even the MENTION of my mother potentially having cancer, I'm in tears.

"Mom," I pry. "Have you gotten a second opinion?"
"No, not yet," she says. "I just got the results today, so I need to find out about medicine or treatment."
"So, you went to the doctor's office, he told you that you had this, but you didn't discuss treatment?" I ask, bewildered.
"No," she says, "I just talked to the surgeon on the phone."
"Okay, so what's next. When is your follow up appointment? When do you get medicine? When do you start treating this?" I ask, belting out questions as soon as they occur to me.
"Well, I called today to move my appointment up," she says wearily.
"Alright, and then..." I begin again.
"But, it's really not that serious. It's not cancer, it's just a really mild form of... well... it's just an inflammation of the lymph nodes. But Imma call you back. I want to see the end of this movie," she says, calmly.
"Alright, mom. I love you," I sigh. We hang up.

Cancer.

In the midst of the overall conversation, we discuss how stressful the past few days for me have been at work. In the midst of my manager's marriage-planning, she had managed to dump all of her work on me. During her two-week honeymoon, I would be performing a nice portion of her manager duties on my coordinator salary. Great.

"DON'T LET THEM RUN YOU RAGGED," my mom exclaimed. "You know, you get caught up in trying to do everything right, and do it all at once, and you're just tired and stressed all the time. I've been doing that for the past 20-plus years. I've been stressed, and having stomach aches, and I've been tired. And now, look what I have to show for it," she sighed.

"I'm just not built that way," I say. "I don't know how to not try," I realize.

"People with no stress live a lot longer," she chuckled. "So, you prioritize your work, and you just do what you can do. When you leave, they'll probably hire someone else and pay them more to do less. So, don't stress. Do your best, and don't worry about it. Do NOT let them run you ragged."

Preach, Mom. Preach. Before we hung up, she mentioned that she was ready to retire. Why not? Two kids out of school, and one kid with a few years left. "Good for her," I thought.

Work is not worth my health, or my mom's for that matter. I'm going to have to keep that top of mind from now on...

Kanye said "giving up is way harder than trying" with which I agree... But work is just not worth it.